You’re either over your ex or you’re not. If you are over her, talking about her will lead your current date into thinking you aren’t, and that she’s wasting her time. If the subject of ex’s come up just be brief and give the overview picture. You can say something like, “we dated for a year, we broke up 8 months ago. She was a great girl but things didn’t work out in the end, I wish her the best of luck.” Then change the subject.
Don’t talk about how much money you make, even if you make lots of money. Truth is there are plenty of people out there who make more than you, and if you really are wealthy she’ll be able to tell. If you mention your wealth she’ll think you’re telling her this because you’re a weak man who seeks her approval. Let’s be real, this is the first date. You don’t need to prove yourself to her, nor should you be in the approval seeking mindset. If money comes up in conversation just simply say you’re wise with your money and you work hard to make a good living for yourself. In that sentence you told her you’re responsible and that you work hard, all traits strong men have and traits women are looking for.
I had just finished reading the Seven Habits of Highly Successful People. One of the main points in the book is to make sure that when you meet someone new you ask them about their life. I went to an event for work and was seated next to this older gentleman who I had never met. So I just started asking him questions about his life. He ended up telling my boss he thought I was a great conversationalist, yet all I did was ask him questions. Make her talk about herself and she will instantly like you. Why? Because most people love talking about themselves and your date is most likely the same way. However there’s a catch, when she’s talking about herself you need to listen and ask her questions about what she just talked about. You need to be involved in the conversation not just have a list of questions prepared.
No one really likes a gossipers, especially someone they just met. Just keep any gossip to yourself. It’s only the first date and she doesn’t need to know about your whole family. Again telling her everything about your life will come across as approval seeking and will make you look weak.
Okay now this can really make her get creeped out. Don’t start talking about things you’re going to do this summer or over the winter together. This is a sure fire way to come across as needy, insecure, stage five clinger and as a psycho. Even if you two have something in common you both love to do, talk about your experiences but don’t try to make plans with her. It’s the first date and you need to let her know you are qualifying her every bit as much as she’s qualifying you. She hasn’t earned a future date with you yet, so don’t offer to take her to a concert or on a hot air balloon ride. If you have a great time on the date, just say at the end, “I had a good time and I’d like to see you again.” If she agrees, pick a day and time you’re free and ask her if she is as well. If she is say “great, I’ll call you with plans” (this is you being a leader, you’re picking the day, time and will let her know of the activity. Women love men who lead the relationship, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise). If she doesn’t have that day free pick another date and time. Make sure you let her know you will call her with the plan. This does two things. 1. Sets the tone that you are a leader. 2. She won’t be able to stop thinking about you because she agreed to a date and has no idea what you’re going to come up with.
Have you ever known someone who seemed to always be in a good mood and you just felt attracted to that person? Better yet, how amazing is it when you see your dog and he just about jumps out of his skin to go jump on you and lick you. Be that guy and that dog. We love people that are happy and we love dogs precisely because they are so consistently happy. Talking negative is the opposite of the dog, stay away from negativity.
This goes along with negative talk. It’s okay to be humble and own your mistakes, but don’t dread on them. Keep that positive vibe going and you will never even think about putting yourself down.
I’m pretty sure she knows you like doggy style, and that you’d like to play strip poker with her. This is nothing new, so keep off the subject. Brining up sex on the first date makes you look like all you want is sex and haven’t had any in two years. Confident strong men don’t need to talk about sex, they engage their lady in captivating conversations and a good time, she will bring up sex. Focus on talking with her, learning about her and having fun, that’s it.
This is the first date, why would you tell a complete stranger your secrets? You normally wouldn’t and just because she’s an attractive lady on a date with you doesn’t take away from the fact that she’s still a stranger. Telling her secrets will look like you’re trying to trust her with information to prove your loyalty to her. This looks pathetic, you and her both know she hasn’t earned your trust and that you’re trying to win her over by being and open book. Strong, confident, and successful men don’t reveal their secrets to strangers, even if she’s smoking hot and he could sleep with her. Keep your secrets to yourself and focus on the conversation about her.
Why would you tell a woman you just met that she’s gorgeous (even if she’s bite the back of your knuckles gorgeous)? What you see in the movies is complete garbage. Women who have self-respect and are the confident women you want to be with aren’t flattered with compliments from strangers. It means nothing to them and it happens all the time. Telling her she’s beautiful just makes you another random guy at the gym. Telling her she’s beautiful is what weak men do to try to attract weak women who haven’t found their confidence yet, she knows this and will think less of you for trying to employ cheap compliments. Just focus on being in the moment with her, that will win you the night. Find something to compliment her in the conversation you two are having. Maybe she just told you a story about how she was able to paint the bathroom in her house by herself, compliment her effort and resilience on that project. I wouldn’t compliment her looks till the third date, and then something simple like, “hey nice to see you, wow you look great.” That’s enough to compliment her looks.
Brining flowers on the first date is probably like asking her to marry you on the fourth date. We’ve all heard about that guy who proposed on the fourth date and thought, “Dayum that’s a crazy dude.” Don’t be that first date or fourth date dude. Because the guy that brings flowers on the first date, brings a ring on the fourth and she knows that’s how it works. So be cool, wait till at least a month before you bring her flowers. She needs to earn the flowers, and she knows that.
If you met your current date on a dating app. Don’t talk smack on that dating app and saying you’ve met a lot of weird people on the app (even if it’s true). She will interpret this as you saying she’s weird. That sounds nuts, but that’s how girls think. If she asks you if you’ve been on other Tinder/Bumble dates? You just say “yes I have, I’ve met some cool people on tinder.” And that’s it. If you two start exchanging tinder stories just make sure to keep it light hearted and positive.
First off, complaining makes you look weak and like you have a negative outlook on how you interpret current situations. Not to mention complaining about your server makes you look like a punk. Working in a restaurant is hard work, the environment is constantly changing and servers like all other human beings make mistakes. When is the last time you were 100% perfect at your job? Exactly. So be chill and focus on her, not the wait staff.
Do not google search, Facebook search, Instagram search or any other form of online searching. Why would you want to know more about her before your first date? That takes away from the fun of getting to know her. If you do internet stock her, keep that creepiness to yourself and do not tell her.
Most people will say to stay away from politics and religion, in my opinion it’s not black and white. If you are super passionate about your religion and know you wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t share your faith, then it’s your duty to screen for that. Same thing for politics, if your passionate about your stance and don’t think you could be with someone who has opposing views, then the right thing to do is to screen for that. You don’t want to lead someone on, then on the sixth date the subject comes up and you two have differing views. This is dishonest and not what a virtuous man would do, if you have deal breakers man up to it. ON the other hand. If politics or religion doesn’t matter to you, then don’t bring it up. Simple as that, it either really matters or it doesn’t, either way you need to be honest with yourself and not waste her time if something is a deal breaker.